So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
