when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
