you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
