Fuck appropriateness.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
