Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
