i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
