yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
