Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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