We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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