if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
