I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
3pm strippers are depressing
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Randomize
