went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
