The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
