My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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