Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
