My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
