i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize