hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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