so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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