i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
