Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
