Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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