Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
