I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i think my cat just said my name.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
