nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
