talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
