its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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