Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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