im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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