During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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