If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
