Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
