Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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