Non-Jews are for practice
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
