Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
