my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
