Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
