So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
