is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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