I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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