Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
