My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
