She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
