you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
