I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
