We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
