Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
