dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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