fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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