I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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