I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
