dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
