we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
