I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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