yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
