I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
