i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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