My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize