I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm passing your future prison.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Vodka?
Forever.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
