I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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