he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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