Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
